Day 13 - Aug. 2

This morning we went to BG.  We were hoping and praying that the aunties were back and didn’t party too hard last night – haha – there was quite the celebration by the beach we could hear it going almost all night… and yeah they were there! J  Jess ran the VBS wonderfully with her helpers – it was cool today to see those that I thought were going to be only interested in holding the babies all week in the schoolers room these past few days– J it’s interesting to see how things have worked out and where people are finding their niche (or not).  I got to help make beds today and to hold the brand new baby girl that came to BG a few days ago.  Apparently, her mom is mentally ill and the govt would only release her to the relatives but then the mom tried to take the baby.  So the relatives had to bring her to BG – Bg is supposed to be a temporary safe house but many children have been there for quite some time and some not so long –not sure of the rhyme or reason… The baby girl (Reanna) is only 2 months old – so so precious!  She was very well taken care of – no signs of RAD – I’m hoping she finds a home soon.  I also had fun playing with the toddlers – still praying that we don’t get ringworm L they are too cute to not cuddle with – getting ringworm is well worth having the chance to cuddle & kiss on them!  WE were hoping to wash more feet today but all of the aunties that were there yesterday were the same ones – so we will try again tomorrow afternoon…

After BG, we took the boys back to VH to rest & to not have to go to Granville (aka prison).  It would allow us moms to not have to worry about them and to focus on the girls more.

I was excited to get to GV today.  Hoping and praying that Ashley was going to be there so I could see her but also a part of me hoped that she wasn’t and that she had gone home or to a better foster home.

It had been a raining so as we pulled through the first gate, I could only see 3 girls peering around the corner – I quickly tried to identify them and none looked familiar – no Ashley.  Would she be here or in her dorm? If she was still here, I hoped that she’d be one of the 20 or so girls in the dining room waiting for us to unload our van.  Because of the rain we would be limited to only visiting in the dining room and not the dirt courtyard. As I walked in trhough the locked gated dining room area, I quickly scanned the room and didn’t see her.  I immediately scanned it again the other way & that was when she saw me & waved for me to come. I was so happy to see her & eager to find out how she was doing.  I immediately made my way to her and gave her a big hug.  I remembered that she said that she enjoyed to play cards so I grabbed a deck and sat down with her, Polly & my new friend Natalie.  They taught us a few new card games but in the end, we ended up playing memory several times – boy is Ashley smart – she won every time!!  During this time I was able to ask her if she was doing ok – she hesitantly said yes – I feel that she wasn’t opening up with me and our time there was not long enough to allow for that… some of the sparkle was gone – my heart sank.  It was hard to hold back the tears – I honestly had to will myself NOT to cry and to not “go there” until later… until now as I write… I didn’t want her to see me cry for her but my heart was/is breaking for her.  She is so so so smart, beautiful on the inside and out – Lord – she’s only 13 – the same age as my baby boy – Lord please be with her.  She knows about Jesus and is a believer – I was happy to see her wearing a cross necklace today. Apparently an area church came and did a treasure hunt with the girls and gave them a tshirt & a plastic cross necklace  - I think the church was 7^th day Baptist church of Jamaica??? I’m not sure – I need to google it… I was just glad to hear that someone else cared to come to visit them! Praise God!

Ashley asked me to bring her some strawberries from America – I told her that I hoped someday that I could but not too sure how to transport them – she had remembered that strawberries are my favorite  - I was happily surprisedJ I would love to do that for her but think that it’s next to impossible to do that… I’ll pray about it thoughJ

After our card game, we made friendship bracelets and I listened to her sing – so beautiful.  I then asked her what was her favorite bible verse is – she immediately said Psalm 34 & Psalm 121.  I remembered that Candi brought her bible in so I borrowed it to look it up together.  As she read Psalm 34 to me with her sweet voice – I couldn’t help but smile and hope and pray that she turns to this passage to bring her hope and encouragement.

Psalm 34 “ The happiness of those who trust God”

I will bless the Lord at all times;
His praise shall continually be in my mouth.
² My soul shall make its boast in the Lord;
The humble shall hear of it and be glad.
³ Oh, magnify the Lord with me,
And let us exalt His name together.

⁴ I sought the Lord, and He heard me,
And delivered me from all my fears.
⁵ They looked to Him and were radiant,
And their faces were not ashamed.
⁶ This poor man cried out, and the Lord heard him,
And saved him out of all his troubles.
⁷ The angel^[a] of the Lord encamps all around those who fear Him,
And delivers them.

⁸ Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good;
Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!
⁹ Oh, fear the Lord, you His saints!
There is no want to those who fear Him.
¹⁰ The young lions lack and suffer hunger;
But those who seek the Lord shall not lack any goodthing.

¹¹ Come, you children, listen to me;
I will teach you the fear of the Lord.
¹² Who is the man who desires life,
And loves many days, that he may see good?
¹³ Keep your tongue from evil,
And your lips from speaking deceit.
¹⁴ Depart from evil and do good;
Seek peace and pursue it.

¹⁵ The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
And His ears are open to their cry.
¹⁶ The face of the Lord is against those who do evil,
To cut off the remembrance of them from the earth.

¹⁷ The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears,
And delivers them out of all their troubles.
¹⁸ The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart,
And saves such as have a contrite spirit.

¹⁹ Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
But the Lord delivers him out of them all.
²⁰ He guards all his bones;
Not one of them is broken.
²¹ Evil shall slay the wicked,
And those who hate the righteous shall be condemned.
²² The Lord redeems the soul of His servants,
And none of those who trust in Him shall be condemned.

Psalm 121 “God the Help of those who seek him”

I will lift up my eyes to the hills—
From whence comes my help?
² My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth.

³ He will not allow your foot to be moved;
He who keeps you will not slumber.
⁴ Behold, He who keeps Israel
Shall neither slumber nor sleep.

⁵ The Lord is your keeper;
The Lord is your shade at your right hand.
⁶ The sun shall not strike you by day,
Nor the moon by night.

⁷ The Lord shall preserve you from all evil;
He shall preserve your soul.
⁸ The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in
From this time forth, and even forevermore.

After she read them to me, she shared that her grandma would always read those to her, teach her the bible and take her to church (just like my grandma did for me) and it was those 2 passages that she read at her grandmother’s funeral.  You see, Ashley’s mother died when she was 2 and her grandma raised her until she died ( I can’t remember at what age that was – maybe just a few years ago).  I then gave her the verses Jer 29:11 and my other favorite Hebrews 11:1.  I found some paper to write her name down so that I can pray for her to get out of the “prison” and to write the verses down too – I did not want to forget!  She quickly urged me to write down the verses that I shared with her on a piece of paper too. 

It was then time to say our “See you Laters” – not goodbye… I gave her the bracelet that I had made and wished that I had a disciples cross that we make to give her – maybe next time…

I hugged Natalie and then turned to Ashley.  She asked if we would be back but I regretfully told her that I wasn’t certain and that our plane was leaving soonL  I asked if she had a specific prayer – a date for court or whatever but no answerL  She did say that she is a “fit person” and not a troublemaker so she doesn’t have a court date.  So I just prayed with her with what was on my heart.

I said “See you later” and slowly walked away – that was so hard to do.  I truly hope that I will SEE HER LATER!  If not in Jamaica in heaven.

My heart is truly broken – I’ve cried for her and the GV girls for about 45 min. today.  For the past 8 months, I haven’t been sure as to why I lead this group here and what “I” was doing here besides bringing others to see the plight of the orphan and to break their heart for what breaks Jesus’s heart but I know today that I am here to pray for Ashley and the other GV girls and if that is truly the only reason  - then it was worth it!

We had never planned on going to GV - we had always planned on going to The Father's House but it wasnt ready for us - i'm now wondering what He has planned for the GV girls and can only hope that it is BIG - i'm so glad that we got to go there and only wished that it was more...